To where you just don’t care about what others think about you. Enough in that you don’t feel obligated to continue to be “the one who makes contact”. As in to friends who have in the past, who aren’t as close as could be, to be the one to first make contact before the other has apparently been ungrateful that you have not payed attention enough.
The obvious nature of this could have been seen for decades or shortly slipped into existence as we drift apart in ideals or purpose and before you know it, communication has ceased. Then it becomes the battle of who cares the least; whether you meant this or not.
In the whole time, whether the situation depends, the friend would be welcomed as a companion for the occasion, gladly. But the distance between that caused the dissidence becomes a barrier. The barrier that becomes fortified by unknown emotions, that creep up in anger, jealousy, or pride. Any number of factors, perhaps disdain over a belief or behavior.
Then finally you reach the point that allows them to come and return with open acceptance as you have with them. Or allow the slippage to mature; unloosening the binds that hold, allowing the web to reform. This is a relaxing time. Great is the feeling to allow only ease within my life. Not holding too strongly to the vines that bind me, but grasping for ones that are appealing and well within reach.
…
…
11:03 am, Tuesday, 3.6.2018