Oh! Boy

I just noticed a sticky sensation tugging on my skin while scratching one foot with the other. Ahh yeah, that is the neem honey that was poured into my toenail cavity. 

“What?”

Yeah, I know, right. The cavity that I created while digging out the strange substance created by toenail fungus on my right big-toe. It is easily dug out by a knife (or today by a set of calipers!! see picture). 

…I dug out the chalky white stuff in a few minutes time. In the past, I’ve packed it with sawdust, detox elixir, and benzonite clay. However, I have never managed to upkeep a treatment plan for more than a week due to my own A.D.D. problems and lack of sincere care of the issue. 

…Today, I bought some “neem honey” to eat at work with bread/toast. That’s a new fad after ditching the peanut butter & jelly routine. Afterwards, I spooned a bit into the cavity. Expecting the honey’s high level of antibacterial, antifungal, antiviral properties to suppress some of the *foreign invader. 

…Now, like I have planned to do for years, I should get some medical tape, gauze, and wrap a toe-cap with the honey. Tighten the tape a little to press the convex nail back to normal. Use the apple cider vinegar for soaking (that had always seemed to help). It would be interesting to heal this thing away. 

Oh yeah…the Oh! Boy

After publix denied me on offering the syrup. I quickly got over it. After all, the raw honey is plenty good enough. That horrible ingredient list on Oh! Boy has always haunted my conscience, but it really is the best syrup ever (taste-wise). I want to try some real maple syrup, cane syrup, and other raw types and mix up a concoction for myself. High Fructose Corn Syrup is of the Devil. And commercial table syrup itself is truly an abomination as well. 

I’m sure I can dig up some flavor of honey to add to the tree grease that will taste better than the very slight amount of cane syrup, mixed with commercial corn syrup that Oh! Boy offers. 

…and why don’t they seem to sell OB in Georgia anyhow?? 

…whatever

*foreign invader may be a stretch, she’s lived with me for around five or six years. She saved my toe on one occasion, acting as a helmet for my toe. Slipped off the bike pedal onto asphalt, landing directly on that nail with flip-flops as my foot gear. A chunk the size of two chocolate chips was shattered from the rest of the whole. No pain, no injury, and until I could manage to neat it up, after some regrowth; it made one heck of a scratcher for the other foot. 


Sunday, 6/25/17

Sunday Service 

Yesterday. I had wondered at what point does heat stop rising and cool takes over. I thought about it several times over the day. And I imagine or seem to think that the atmosphere thins due to that hole in the ozone that is allowing air to leak into the void of space. The hole that the 1980’s gave us, after using 100 million cans of aerosol hair spray. And the thinning allows hot air to rush in between like fuzzy and soft in velcro. 

…look at that photo. Looks like every type of cloud bundled into one pictogram. That is beautiful and much moreso in person. The beauty comes from the excitement of the moment, the heat on the skin, and the calming blue backdrop that presents a vibrant explosion. It always stirs me to think how the representation of nature, herself is of the grandest forms of art. It is difficult to surpass that beauty. I wish we could still see the stars at night — for that easily accessible artwork. 

The stars will make you think about your universe. We see only hundreds due to night lights, but there are countless suns in the night sky. Alledgedly infinite or nearly infinite. The power that is represented in that thought brings me to the limits of the mind. To get stuck on the catch 22 of life’s question of meaning, if we are the point of this all, then why are we being tested? If there is a war between good & evil, then why isn’t there any real proof? If there is no point to any of this, then why does that nagging question arise in the first place? If I’m being pulled from three directions, and each one has their own representations of truth, yet no one has objective evidence of that truth, then how is there ever supposed to be a test in the end… it is rigged to fail… only the weak ones who depend on the most demanding leader will ever make it, and only if those folks hit the bonus lottery, as the absolute winner, only one side wins right? Or else there’s no winner or no loser. Or maybe there’s multiple correct answers and only one real bad path. Perhaps multiple good, multiple bad. 

Who knows, who cares. If you set me up to fall, in a rigged system, with no clues to real truth, then setup my reasoning and intuition to doubt all things implausible, then it sounds like you don’t give a damn either. 


6/25/17

Dear Publix

Dear Publix,
Your store is nice and clean. Your prices are fair and stable. Your employees are all dressed well and appear positive. You do great work with helping elderly and retarded people keep decent jobs. 
However, it drains my entire energy to walk around your store. I feel like I’m in some Disney Land nightmare where there’s no walking stuffed animals. There’s too much forced niceness in an environment where I just want to buy food and leave. 

Quit forcing your employees to greet every single person. Don’t make cashiers stand in the isle, greeting, questioning customers if they are ready to checkout! After the fourteenth employee said hello and smiled at me, I had to control myself from telling them to quit being fake. 

“Did you find everything you were looking for?”

NO — just ring me up. I’ve nodded to fourteen of you and said howdy nine times. Now please leave me alone. 

“Are you certain you don’t need a bag?”
YES — and why are you talking to me (bag lady) I just said I don’t want a bag. Why are you pushing a bag on me? Do I not look capable to carry a box of pop-tarts and a gallon of water. Shoo — get outa here. Go bag up single items for some other weak individual. 

As an introvert, I’m practically exhausted from your store. At the least, you don’t make me feel like I’m doing societal harm, like when I use wal-mart … they drain your soul, bit by bit. 

6/20/2017 Tuesday, 8:38pm

Bored at work 

For a few weeks, I have been bored of my work duties. I toy with my ideas for most of the day while biding my time. It’s not as if there isn’t plenty of work to get finished or started.

There are several roots to this situation. The morale (here) is low, due to folks leaving for new jobs. That’s no big deal except for the top 3 reasons for leaving are:

  1. Low pay
  2. Underpaid by industry standards 
  3. The unending promises for pay increase while never receiving any

Other reasons include:

  1. Management not respecting the employees
  2. Conflicts of interest within the management structure create integrity problems 
  3. Total loss of respect of your managers that has been stripped away, slowly, over time

Right now, I have an excel sheet open to detail the plans for my game. The engineering room is talking about weekend possibilities. I have Pink Floyd on the speaker. CATIA is open — just for looks. And I’m just waiting for the clock tell me it’s time to go. 

I have no hopes remaining for this company. The place is allegedly growing like wildfire, but the air feels stagnant. I don’t know anyone who is excited about their position in this facility, excluding the owner. 

For most of you, there isn’t anything new in that statement. “Yes, I hate my job and I’ve been bored since week three”. But you’ve been there for eight years… how do you do that? “It’s a job”. It drives me absolute nuts to be doing something that bores me. 

I’m stuck at the employer who refuses me OT, even though I’d love to pour my time into a worthy cause. I need to find that employer. One that lets me slip into a flow and burn down twelve hour chunks of daylight per session. Let me solve your problem and give me the leeway to do so. A place where the next task is not a near-replica of the last project.

I need a challenge, but not the challenge to keep my sanity. 

4/16/2017 Friday