A bruise??

What is this sensation??!!

I don’t get bruises!! Not without a fight. My right biceps feels bruised, but I see no coloration. 

As it draws into my three minute warning of 11:11, as it’s been happening lately, I want to shift my view towards tomorrow. Towards the job interviews, with expectations to gain both positions so that I can quickly grow my funds or have options to work in a more aligned trajectory to my path. 

Yet, in the moment of 11:11, I just gave thanks for letting me be part of this “crazy nonsense”. I’m going to try to sleep. 

Though my dreams will be intense tonight. I know this because of two reasons. 

  1. This afternoon, I had a very very intense and vivid dream. 
  2. I haven’t smoked marijuana today. Smoking will suppress many dreams. 

I’m almost scared to sleep. I’m not scared — anxious perhaps. After the dream today, I know they will be even more intense. Hopefully not frightful. Today’s dream was highly sexual, but not in a desired way. I really don’t want that again. I’ve been thinking on that dream, off and on, ever since. 

Well… there was one spot that was terrifying. My (nephew, I think) were wrestling. In an odd location: top of a scaffolding. At one point, I was falling off of the scaffolding floor. Sliding off somehow — head first — towards a thirty foot drop. 

He managed to catch me as I slipped further off of the ledge. While I was nearly going to fall. 

I awoke — covered in sweat. It was barely warm in my room. 

…yeah, last time I was “forced” to quit due to legal probation, I had these same VERY INTENSE dreams. Night after night for weeks, I had these wretched dreams. The dreams were not fun: aliens chasing me from home, world collapsing around me, destruction, demons, people dying, me almost dying, fights, being chased, and yet there were a few good ones — like flying by flapping my arms while skipping down a path. 

I be damned, but that actually makes full sense to me now. Like now — this second. It makes sense. 

Jeeez though… I don’t want to go through it again. (And people wonder why I’m a pot-head). 

11:30pm, 1.7.2018, Sunday 

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