Oh what a rough day this has been. My freedom has been restored! I am now able to get the type of vehicle I desire, with improved terms and conditions. Though I feel uneasy at the moment due to loss of eased transportation. 
I watched a few minutes of this beautiful man’s video last night. At 6:56 he says:

“We should be brave enough to stand alone, wise enough when you know you need help, and strong enough to ask for help”.

Similarly, his troubles are over vehicle loss. He too, is on his own mission to change the world in the way he feels led. His beginning was nearly the same as mine. He began following the coincidences of numbers. 11:11. 

His calling brought him to Tanzania to care for children. He houses seventy or so kids. Several whom he, and wife, have adopted. The situation is always nearly at an end due to financial distress. Yet, now he has had the last two vehicles tear up on him (within a twelve hour window). 

Without a vehicle, 30 miles from a hospital, with the majority of children as special needs care — this is actually a life or death situation for the children. He is in desperate need of assistance. He pleads with his viewers to help through this time, even though he knows God is on his side. He is scared and feels helpless under the pressure and cannot get a break. 

I’ve never seen him like this. He is super courageous, generous, and heartfelt. It breaks my heart to see him like this. Knowing how wonderful he is, and seeing him in such pain, brings me anxiety. 

I am on that journey now. Like it or not. Somehow we were both led down this interesting, crazy path of leadership. I’ve seen many others like him now, like me. Where the only real thing to follow is our instinct — to follow in faith. 

It pains me to realize how he has come so far, but is still facing greater difficulties than ever anticipated. I cannot compare my path quite yet; mine has just begun. The fact that he may have children die in his arms is much more undesirable than for me to not attend a meeting where I hope to gain a partner in my endeavor. 

I cannot compare my achievements. I have little in my wake. My greatness is yet to come. I’ve been depressed over loss of possible connections, lack of proper employment for income, lack of freedom to roam, and boredom. Yet this man may have a child die because the car doesn’t start. That is horrible!! 

He needs help and even with 52,000 subscribers to his content, he has difficulty feeding and caring for handicapped kids. This brings tears to my eyes. 

Helps me realize that I am fine. I don’t have kids dying due to my lack of vehicle. I don’t have any problems comparable, yet I have been anxious about this ordeal. I know everything will be great — for him and me. But right now, it sucks. Right now, a bit of wind has been knocked out of my sail. Right now, I just want to sleep through the day. Right now, I want to give up — but I cannot — I must push onward with the plan. 

I don’t know the best plan, but I do know of two options. One option sounds good. One sounds bad. 

But in irony, the one that sounds good actually feels horrible. And the one that sounds bad — feels great. 

Must have faith. 

3:40pm, 1.8.2018, Sunday