Balance 

Achieving that is an unlikely result. I torpedo my way through life with long buildups, running through different areas of work while sticking in each niche for a time before inexplicably changing paths and pursuing that goal. I know the current path could lead on to a rich life, but I’m growing bored of the corporate environment and dread each day of continually pursuing the previous goal. Though I really want to stay within engineering and grow my ever increasing salary that should rival my competing engineers. But there’s much boring work to be done in the meantime. I’m fine with it, but only if the payoff truly is near. Four years experience should grant me much easier job finding, but it isn’t seeming to pass the bar. I fear the flood of engineers is still too high in the market and degrees are becoming an extremely common item, but also a required one. And that is pretty crazy considering the work most design engineers do. But welding is paying equal or better for equal skill levels as I’ve gained. I can always skill back up in that. But I really haven’t planned on that route. I am in great physical shape still snd could manage any of the work. Heck TIG is my preference anyway and that’s basically a desk job. The car/house + wasteful lifestyle has caught up to me again. Yet I’m virtually stress free. Thanks to that blessing of don’t give a #%€$. It seems rarer than I feel though I abuse my limits in stoic manner and torture my bowels in their eyes. It all builds to increase my lack of need. Committing to a fast, for instance; ignoring all the common food rules and still attempting heavy labor. That informed me most of all the diets or nutritional information I’ve ever learnt. Though it piled onto previous banks of information and cases of trial-n-error- I realized how willing the body is to adapt to the consequences of its surroundings. If trained properly, eased into certain protocols, it is amazing how little you will begin to care about food rules. There are no known rules, there are suggestions and paid-for propaganda that has built the majority of those rules. It’s like the common pet concern “Cats and dogs shouldn’t eat human food”. Are you joking, you mean chicken and beef. While I admit those animals are not natural, it should be bird, mouse, squirrel, etc. it is still the same principle. “Your cat needs dry food to eat at all times if it wants to eat, then wet food at night “. No wonder your cat doesn’t like the taste of the sardines that my cat greatly enjoys. Nah that same cat in the natural condition may not eat for two days. But when it does, it will be an entire small animal. Then it may not eat for a while. It survives great without constant nibbling of food…just like you. Humans are very near the same, but we need more plants than them. Watch your cat, she will eat grass an herbs, naturally when ill, but if given what it preys on and has been adapted to best eat. Raw dead animals, not corn, wheat, peas, carrots, and the scrap they scrape off the floor at the meat factories. Disgusting anyhow. Ever realize why it costs 1/6 the price of decent tuna. Dang it’s getting late, was supposed to sleep early. Guess not, quarter till midnight and I need some sticking supper. Lunch at 2:00 is wearing off by now. 

8/9/2017

August 1, 2017

Last night was class 2 of my wing chun. The class was 6 + sifu. I was mated with the 2 fellows who had 7 years and 10 years experience.

It was awkward for quite a few minutes of the second phase of lesson. As we were paired off, facing each other; one would be the aggressor and the other as defensive. But I couldn’t figure out the movement. I screwed up the first fifteen times. They seemed to wonder if I was slow, but then it just clicked and I could see what the point of the exercise was. 

7/8/2017

Holy Lightning Batman

The lightning struck within a quarter mile just as I opened this blog post to type the title. I’m in the old white truck amidst a raging thunderstorm, parked in front of the Dixie Crystals Sugar Refinery (I think). A small patch of white cloud ahead, but there went seven more bolts of electricity. 

Prepare to call me sempai. I joined the kungfu place for 1 month. The owner did attempt a SIX MONTH CONTRACT. Yet I declined and began to walk away. I asked about uniforms already and that is required (a ghee?? I dunno). That’s 45 bucks. Ehh I’ll pass on 50 bucks extra for a silly pair of pajamas. 

…she called me back, saying she’ll allow me a month off of contract and no worry over the costume for this month. 

…so I’m game. It’s more cash than I should be spending, but I’m in need of this. Three/four years ago, I said I’d try yoga a couple months after I gain flexibility enough for palms flat on the floor in a forward bend. That took a year perhaps. Now I can stand on tip-toes while doing the forward bend and lay palms to floor. Yet the yoga never happened. 

…Last year, I decided that if I lasted another year of fairly frequent bostaff training, I’d enter some form of martial arts. I’m interested in several forms, but I have always been most attracted to the idea of kungfu and its ways. The wing chun style of defense through resistance and offense with minimal force is a style that I could work with. 

7/24/17

Eh, I ditched that spot; it is now tomorrow and I’m on lunch break. There is a possible job lined up; I am awaiting another call while I prepare my resume. The company has been emailing me every few months for two years, but after they didn’t hire me previously and I recall there payrange being slack, I haven’t cared. 

…he says the pay is likely doable as suggested. Though I’m still low-balling myself a bit. 

Started reading Walden. Henry Thorough or something–w/e his name is. Only 7 pages in. It’s about his story and views while living at Walden pond in his handcrafted log cabin while in his 30’s I believe. 

…not saying I want to do that persay. It was funny though, my cubicle buddy at work was looking at RVs, campers, & buses for me haha. He’s like “I’m serious, this is perfect for you”. Yeah, I know; I’ve been dreaming for a bus for years now. A short-bus would be perfect actually. 

…now it’s tator time (tummy growls at that idea!!)

7/25/17

Check in the mail for $416. Details in picture below. 


Not bad for under 1 year. That’s nearly 35% in profit. I would be happy for that in any year in this same economy. I wish it could remain, but I need it to save my mortgage. 

…back to CATIA…7/25/17, 3:25pm

Carmax extended warranty is lame

Carmax screwed me with a warranty that has been worthless twice in 7 months. 
Now, rincon chevy says my clutch is out. Warranty won’t cover. Estimate of $1,400. 
So a non-car place should be cheaper. But how much? 
I wish I could afford to ditch these shit vehicles and buy a beater. But I’m way too deep in stupid underwater debt. And since I am a contractor, I can’t even get a crappy high interest loan, because loan offices don’t recognize temp positions. 

I need a job that can actually pay my bills. Tired of being on the verge of bankruptcy. It’s been three stupid years of this crap since that peckerhead at Gulfstream screwed me over by laying me off. 
…frustrated…7/12/2017

Bored at work 

For a few weeks, I have been bored of my work duties. I toy with my ideas for most of the day while biding my time. It’s not as if there isn’t plenty of work to get finished or started.

There are several roots to this situation. The morale (here) is low, due to folks leaving for new jobs. That’s no big deal except for the top 3 reasons for leaving are:

  1. Low pay
  2. Underpaid by industry standards 
  3. The unending promises for pay increase while never receiving any

Other reasons include:

  1. Management not respecting the employees
  2. Conflicts of interest within the management structure create integrity problems 
  3. Total loss of respect of your managers that has been stripped away, slowly, over time

Right now, I have an excel sheet open to detail the plans for my game. The engineering room is talking about weekend possibilities. I have Pink Floyd on the speaker. CATIA is open — just for looks. And I’m just waiting for the clock tell me it’s time to go. 

I have no hopes remaining for this company. The place is allegedly growing like wildfire, but the air feels stagnant. I don’t know anyone who is excited about their position in this facility, excluding the owner. 

For most of you, there isn’t anything new in that statement. “Yes, I hate my job and I’ve been bored since week three”. But you’ve been there for eight years… how do you do that? “It’s a job”. It drives me absolute nuts to be doing something that bores me. 

I’m stuck at the employer who refuses me OT, even though I’d love to pour my time into a worthy cause. I need to find that employer. One that lets me slip into a flow and burn down twelve hour chunks of daylight per session. Let me solve your problem and give me the leeway to do so. A place where the next task is not a near-replica of the last project.

I need a challenge, but not the challenge to keep my sanity. 

4/16/2017 Friday 

Engineering Class

What is wrong with me, it’s 1:13 in the am and I am not really tired. Listening to Joe Rogan’s podcast with Michael Malice. Had played a few games with a group tonight. Then bought an expansion for Dominion. 

I’m looking forward to the test-run with mom on Saturday if it doesn’t get played in tomorrow’s group. 

This card suits me well:

I love that chance card, especially if you can keep a high ratio of a single card to increase your odds. Plus there’s always an action to play the card you saw — even if it isn’t free. 

I knew it was a bad idea to drink two coffee drinks at the event; but it sure boosts my attention for the gaming — since I don’t take caffeine often. 

I’ve been thinking that I may begin a blog section with entries that may eventually get a laugh out of my work mates. As suggestion from them, sort of, they joke of documenting our conversations. As others in the past have said also. But we’ve never done so. 

… at work, open-air conversations about whatever, pretty much for half of almost every day. Some interesting topics pop up, heated arguments, and the like. 

I try to open their eyes to ideas and question their reasoning, while they attempt to correct my views and force “facts” in my face. 

…so it is a challenge on both sides. Each side remains unchanged, often. 

……….

Anyway, so I learned how to remove a glove with much less effort than normal. I now can remove a welding glove in a mostly relaxed manner instead of ripping it forcefully across my knuckles. 

…funny thing is, I had no clue that gloves actually could be put on/off with such small effort. And now it is becoming difficult to not remove them easily. 

One day, well several days, we’ve had geography discussions which led to quizzes of the globe and of the USA. Sadly, I am horrid at geography (this is due the fact that I don’t care about geography) and named barely a quarter of states. But it was interesting and fun. 

If there’s a query in the room for an odd topic, there’s likely someone interested in the answer and a google-search is underway. It is funny lots of times and often spawned by myself. I have learned tons of stuff in that room. Not all useful, surely, but entertaining at least. 

…I should track some of this. Today, we experimented (for me) after they witnessed me attempting the iPhone with headphones. I thought I was maybe using proper technique, but I never really know how far to hold the phone from mouth using the earbuds. So i was 2 inches from it. They said I probably sounded like I was yelling. Anyhow, we tested it in the office. Maybe they are correct, but I didn’t get to do the hearing part on my side. 

…ugh, quarter till two. I guess the ten hour nap last night will help my sleep deprivation this night for this day. 

…5/26/17 1:50pm