I’m too sore for the 1st day of class 

But since there’s no schedule, first will yet be first. Sunday’s activities wrecked my hamstrings in a great way. It’s tough to even pull off a mild forward bend (I still mean deeper-in than palms flat on floor). 

…even my neck muscles are tight. It must, mostly, be from the sprints. Told dude at work the last was 100 yards, but it’s gotta be more like 500 feet to 200 yards. See the google map, below. All barefoot, but is that even worth mentioning. Shoes would be the odd occasion. Shoes would make me feel like I was wasting my time. I ran first, too see the action around the corner, just a bit. There were firetrucks all around but no smoke. Had a couple folks ask if I knew, they said they already snooped and saw nothing. So I went further around, quicker, and it was fun. So I did a couple little tiny sprints on sidewalk. 

…back to Forsyth, some random guy with his outfit, a heart regulator, shoes, and normal routine is jogging along. I decide to sprint for real and gun it past him. A good little clip of a few hundred feet, and I slowed a bit too quickly. It felt like a bit of the sole of my foot may have peeled up. But no. Totally fine minus a slight abrasion where there was a grinding halt on the sidewalk. I feel like an Indian saying so, the ground barely touches your feet until you slow down then it scrapes if you do so too suddenly. But only on rocks like asphalt and concrete. And even then, you grow into the activity. 

…I could so continue that barefoot rant and I want to, but yeah. I am lazily sitting in a parking lot where I allow half of what I think to flow quickly through my fingertips, watching folks hurry through the rain, to grab groceries, then hurry out to quickly leave and get in stupid traffic that is twice as bad in the rain and I don’t want to do that. 

…I’m also sitting in a metal box, insulated by rubber footings, and comfortable to such a degree because I’m fairly confident in the technology that has been incorporated to its design. 

…but I do have a car I will still very likely lose, a mortgage/house that has been in crisis mode for three years, the cat wants to eat, and I’m full-filling self promises that I really can’t afford. 

…then “we are sitting on a rock hurtling through space” “and it’s spinning” as joe rogan constantly says. And there’s unknown meteors that may strike anytime. I’m okay. I’ve actually been wanting to ditch my vehicle for quite sometime, and who can afford to sell a car/truck when it goes immediately underwater upon purchase, then a year of no employment. No complaints, I’m fine. But that stupid ongoing payment, life drag of 400 then 100+ insurance then 2-500 gas. I’m sick of it and it’s impossible to get out of without a break. A pay increase. That may be coming. Who knows, I’m fine without, but I think even with this cashout of my BX stocks (and its 30% gains!!), I am so far behind that I would need to immediately get a new job/raise and I feel no traction at the current job so that I could beg some cash out of them. I’m well over 2,000 in debt to mortgage/car and I really need to hang on to dad’s truck for a couple months while my car gets repo’d from the Chevy place. I owe chevy 113$ so that’s retarded, but I want to just go pay; clean all my crap out; and call the bank and tell them I’m a piece of crap. So that sucks, but then go lookup REALLY DON’T LOOK — You cannot unsee things like this. Lookup Tibetan Sky Funeral. It is an insane method of disposal of a corpse (loved one). 

… I’m excited about the whole gaming creativity project and really want to continue, even if I sideline, woopity do. That just means I’m obsessed or depressed but hopefully just obsessed with something new. Ahh the rain has fully stopped, I shall ride like an old lady on the wet road, with all the idiots, oh joy. 

7/25/17, 7:03pm

Carmax extended warranty is lame

Carmax screwed me with a warranty that has been worthless twice in 7 months. 
Now, rincon chevy says my clutch is out. Warranty won’t cover. Estimate of $1,400. 
So a non-car place should be cheaper. But how much? 
I wish I could afford to ditch these shit vehicles and buy a beater. But I’m way too deep in stupid underwater debt. And since I am a contractor, I can’t even get a crappy high interest loan, because loan offices don’t recognize temp positions. 

I need a job that can actually pay my bills. Tired of being on the verge of bankruptcy. It’s been three stupid years of this crap since that peckerhead at Gulfstream screwed me over by laying me off. 


I’m chillin’ in the car. Looking at the facebook. 

Truck pulls up in my rear, blocking the cars adjacent to me and myself from exit. Dude steps out, looks around, grabs at his crotch in a thuggish manner. 

I’m at a stop light. Waiting to go. 

I hear thumping. I look in the rear view to see the top of a head, slouched to the left. Pulling up next to my car at the light, I can barely see through the tint. The window is rolling downward. 

I’m at Kroger. Watching a video on YouTube. 

Skinny white dude walks across the parking lot. Like a hyena, notices my car and mozies my way. I look up and he is b-lining towards me. 

I’m driving slowly down the road. Trying to get to a friend’s house. 

I wait for a pedestrian to cross the street. Then another man steps out from the side of the road near my car. 

What happens next?

#1 The glove box is opened. 

#2 I place my hand on my glock. 

Don’t usually get to #3, but if so, that is to place it in my lap. (*Chamber a round). 

That is it and it makes me feel much better. I have had full, several minute long, conversations with strangers while holding my gun under a towel or the like. I always wonder what kind of vibe that adds to the conversation. 

See the orderly glovebox. There is one pen. There is one Glock 40 caliber. There are two magazines holding 15 hollow point rounds each. Everything except the pen fits well in my holster. 

5/19/17 Friday!!! 5:10pm

*I have recently removed my bullet from the chamber; worrying over kids access to vehicle. 


At lunchtime, I realized that I’ve missed a beat in my daily programming. 

This morning, upon waking, I hopped into my jeans and found a nice dress shirt. I found the shirt in the suitcase that lies in the hallway. That suitcase has barely been touched in a year and has clean clothes still within. The jeans were from weed-wacking a couple days in a row. 

I did not stop at the gas station to change [into] my dress clothes. And I did not change into shorts or even t-shirt for Lunch Break. 

So, this was the 1st day of around thirty (40) or so of consecutive work days that I did not perform the odd dressing ritual. I’ll have to lookup the actual number; I had an original post about this after a couple weeks from the habit’s birth. [add link here]. 

We shall see what happens on Monday. 

As a note on the same basic theme: VanDwelling, I promised to go to a friend’s house and I almost regret it. 

…which is total nonsense. I would like to see them anyway — why else would I say I’d come by?

But now that I’m lounging in the Walmart parking lot, eyeballing HomeDepot ’cause I want a new tube and/or end caps for it, I see that I am missing-out on the opportunity to get a good night’s rest in the backseat. Like last week, I could awake and head to Forsyth for my carrot juice– having a fifteen minute head start on the drive. AND adding the lost twenty minutes of driving [home] tonight. 

5/12/17 Friday, 9:39pm


Checkout my tent. 

I hear what sounds like a kid playing outside. But I dunno cause there’s no voices – only dragging and rolling. It’s like an RV park without the grass. There is a pond out behind the chain link fence. Last I remember, there were a thousand turtles that’ll swim to you as you walk up. A hundred fish do the same. The guy who found this spot and told me about it was initially scared, saying he got really creeped out when a water-bound swarm headed his way. 

I’ve been paranoid but not worried about the spot. Parked between 2 vans. 1 van parked at a 45 degree angle and didn’t want neighbors. I figure he may get harassed before me. 

You tell me who gets harassed first because I really aren’t sure who looks crazier:

1.  Grey mini-van with dark purple tint with bubbles parked way crooked. Various colors of tape applied to the vehicle for who knows what. 

2.  Red car with tint parked well – with a blanket canopy over the seats, creating a “tent”. 

I have a feeling you’ll say me. But who gets harassed by the local bacon first? 

I really don’t think Walmart cares though. 

5/7/2017 Sunday, 11:11am