A Savage Break

The picture embodies the essence of the break: total gluttony available, if wanted. 

Yet there were no Honey Bun Mountains tonight. No pancakes, waffles, or anything much except that chocolate muffin at the coffee shop, just a few larabars, milk, and a minuscule shard of valium. I barely have eaten my calories for the day — though I am satiated. The valium may not even be large enough to affect me — around 1/6th of a yellow. I want to counteract that carafe of french-press Ethiopian coffee that had jacked me sky high. 

I’m skipping work day with hired help tomorrow as my short week does not support the funds. I hope to make it to Forsyth for sprints & juice in the early day. Then whatever else. 

I don’t want a break longer than the one day to start. I have to make certain I kick my full system into work mode. The time in which the body realizes, “this guy has to do this crap every day now, really?? Well now, we better beef up to handle the new demands!” This statement is coming out already, the signs are there with muscles growing with obvious changes. Sleeves are quickly tightening around my biceps and my bird-chest is even thickening. 

…beyond all that, muscles all throughout my lower body are mildly sore. Even the tops of my feet have muscle soreness due to barefoot running and sprinting. The outer buttocks is the sorest, likely from the weighted lunges. 

…ate pinto beans (Bojangles) for lunch and aimed to seize my cravings for onions at Dickies with Tanglers but the line was too long. I really need to go get a double shot of wheatgrass, then carrot juice with turmeric, then a beet/carrot juice; then follow-up with dinner of sauted onions and beef. THIS is my main objective for tomorrow; spreading the juices out over the afternoon, interspersed with training. 

…also, do my breathing exercises. I may join the cheap gym for deadlifts and the sauna–the sauna alone is worth the twenty bucks. 

Enough goal, plans rambling. Hopefully it will occur, but if not — here is my plan of a great and productive day. 

11:30pm

Friday

8/25/2017 

Jeeze it’s only 4 months till Christmas already. 

I’m too sore for the 1st day of class 

But since there’s no schedule, first will yet be first. Sunday’s activities wrecked my hamstrings in a great way. It’s tough to even pull off a mild forward bend (I still mean deeper-in than palms flat on floor). 

…even my neck muscles are tight. It must, mostly, be from the sprints. Told dude at work the last was 100 yards, but it’s gotta be more like 500 feet to 200 yards. See the google map, below. All barefoot, but is that even worth mentioning. Shoes would be the odd occasion. Shoes would make me feel like I was wasting my time. I ran first, too see the action around the corner, just a bit. There were firetrucks all around but no smoke. Had a couple folks ask if I knew, they said they already snooped and saw nothing. So I went further around, quicker, and it was fun. So I did a couple little tiny sprints on sidewalk. 

…back to Forsyth, some random guy with his outfit, a heart regulator, shoes, and normal routine is jogging along. I decide to sprint for real and gun it past him. A good little clip of a few hundred feet, and I slowed a bit too quickly. It felt like a bit of the sole of my foot may have peeled up. But no. Totally fine minus a slight abrasion where there was a grinding halt on the sidewalk. I feel like an Indian saying so, the ground barely touches your feet until you slow down then it scrapes if you do so too suddenly. But only on rocks like asphalt and concrete. And even then, you grow into the activity. 

…I could so continue that barefoot rant and I want to, but yeah. I am lazily sitting in a parking lot where I allow half of what I think to flow quickly through my fingertips, watching folks hurry through the rain, to grab groceries, then hurry out to quickly leave and get in stupid traffic that is twice as bad in the rain and I don’t want to do that. 

…I’m also sitting in a metal box, insulated by rubber footings, and comfortable to such a degree because I’m fairly confident in the technology that has been incorporated to its design. 

…but I do have a car I will still very likely lose, a mortgage/house that has been in crisis mode for three years, the cat wants to eat, and I’m full-filling self promises that I really can’t afford. 

…then “we are sitting on a rock hurtling through space” “and it’s spinning” as joe rogan constantly says. And there’s unknown meteors that may strike anytime. I’m okay. I’ve actually been wanting to ditch my vehicle for quite sometime, and who can afford to sell a car/truck when it goes immediately underwater upon purchase, then a year of no employment. No complaints, I’m fine. But that stupid ongoing payment, life drag of 400 then 100+ insurance then 2-500 gas. I’m sick of it and it’s impossible to get out of without a break. A pay increase. That may be coming. Who knows, I’m fine without, but I think even with this cashout of my BX stocks (and its 30% gains!!), I am so far behind that I would need to immediately get a new job/raise and I feel no traction at the current job so that I could beg some cash out of them. I’m well over 2,000 in debt to mortgage/car and I really need to hang on to dad’s truck for a couple months while my car gets repo’d from the Chevy place. I owe chevy 113$ so that’s retarded, but I want to just go pay; clean all my crap out; and call the bank and tell them I’m a piece of crap. So that sucks, but then go lookup REALLY DON’T LOOK — You cannot unsee things like this. Lookup Tibetan Sky Funeral. It is an insane method of disposal of a corpse (loved one). 

… I’m excited about the whole gaming creativity project and really want to continue, even if I sideline, woopity do. That just means I’m obsessed or depressed but hopefully just obsessed with something new. Ahh the rain has fully stopped, I shall ride like an old lady on the wet road, with all the idiots, oh joy. 

7/25/17, 7:03pm

Free-Food Monday 

I didn’t pay a nickel for food on yesterday. 

There were something like seven eighteen-packs of glazed Krispey Kremes up for grabs at work. That turned into breakfast, lunch, & snack. I must have eaten a dozen or more. 

Then at mom & dad’s, they cooked a premade pizza. And Mom decided to bake a cake. 

…I took home a healthy (well not exactly healthful) chunk home to eat at midnight. 

It’s not very often that I go a whole day without buying food. Much less — not even eating bought (by me) food. It was kinda nice, but too bad it was nearly 100% non-healthful foods. 

*got mom to play Dominion. And it was fun.  She wooped me twice. I want a rematch!!

**i really have no idea how to categorize posts like this. I have twenty categories it seems. But what matches this non-theme?

5_23_2017 Tuesday, lunchbreak, 1:41pm

Missing iPhone

I lost my iPhone today. It disappeared between bed and a friend’s house. It is practically coincidence, really, but I don’t believe in coincidences. 

My personal space does not need to be clean. Matter of fact, I am likely the most disgusting person I know; yet, I attribute that to being highly adaptive to my environments. The only problem I have with the chaos is when the mess becomes disorderly. I need to know where my stuff is. It may appear messy to [you], but I know where all my useful things are. I may not know where important things are, like tax documents, but I know where regularly required items are located. 

Going without my knife used to be maddening. I would feel half-naked — or a better way that a “normal” person could relate: like I didn’t have my shoes on. 

…whoever reading this is saying that (that) is a poor example, but it is absolutely perfect. (not including work – shoes are required at work, sadly). 

…if I forget my shoes, woopity-doo, I probably didn’t need them anyway. Well, if I go in a store, I could use them. But I don’t feel they’re needed. If I go to the mall or a school, I will actually need them. Or perhaps I need to walk for distance on too-hot asphalt, shoes would help. 

Now, if you forgot your shoes, you are screwed. You haven’t adapted your feet to acorns–much less for asphalt. 

… the comparison: shoes are great and all for when it is required, but I rarely need them (except in the office). You’re totally fine not having a knife, except when it is needed. 

The knife of ages past is the cellphone today. It’s nice to have; I like having a computer in my pocket. But it’s not needed except for (for) important phone calls. Leaving it at the house was a bummer, so I went back to grab it. Within the next hour, I had given both my room and car total overhauls and organized them. But no phone. 

It got me thinking during the ride to Mom & Dad’s that if it weren’t for the fact that I need a phone to find a new job, then I may would up and ditch that thing for a while. 

…and that got me thinkin’ bout ditching Comcast internet. I have been going along with others’ thinking: keep internet for wifi & for when I eventually have a roommate. A reconnection fee could be avoided and I could save phone data. 

…but I regret it, as usual, to go against my gut reaction (from months ago). I had planned to cut the bill, yet instead, I have been shelling-out 70 bucks each month. I’m barely home since I am anti-homesick (I want to be anywhere but here). My cell bill is outrageous on its own and I cannot imagine that has been reduced by little wifi. AND verizon now has an unlimited plan — so now it is really pointless. 

…my tv has been unplugged for what must be two months. I am primed for Destiny 2 on ps4, which requires internet, but that comes out in the fall. Hopefully by then I’ll have a payraise and make a decision to turn back on. 

And that got me thinking about working on my house again. It’d be great to sell and be done with this place; Break my binds and run for the hills. 

I later found the phone. It was on the back porch. 

5/1/2017 Monday, 12:28am

I sit in my vehicle more than what % of the population?

That’s a thing I often think of. I’ve never attempted to look up any stats as I imagine it is a stat that few care about – unless for seat manufacturers possibly. I have been sitting here since the last half hour of sunlight – it is now 9:09. That is about 4 hours. I have gotten out to stretch on occasion. 

I initially parked here so that I could sunbathe a bit. Positioning my car so that the light would fall upon my bare chest. I parked in the spot, farthest from the exit so not many would ride by. Then after the sun went down, I continued to watch videos, peruse fb, lookup random things, and eventually picking up the blog to narrate onto. 

Most times when I go somewhere, I’ll hang in my truck for a bit before I go in. Then after leaving, I’ll lounge in my seat listening to the radio. It is common for me to spend an additional four hours or so in the driver’s seat – not counting driving time – each day. 

How many others are like me in that respect? 

I have always been like this. I see no other way. Public spaces aren’t welcoming to aimless sitters. A massive parking lot that hosts hundreds of busy people darting around provides a cover for the car that’s been idle for two hours, even if bare feet are propped on the side mirror. A hundred people come and go each hour, while I gaurd the lot. Sometimes I’ll just people watch and wonder what they think of the ‘guy in the truck’ who they see often, parked crooked across three spots in the middle of the parking lot. 

It’s funny sometimes. In early December, I had a random kid come talk to me while I sat at the gas pump, feet propped on mirror. He was sixteen or so, liked my truck, and talked my ear off for a solid hour. Over the next two weeks, leading up to the new car purchase, he’d see me at the same spot. He, mostly, did the talking. He came and talked several times. He wanted to exchange contact info – but hey, maybe he’s crazy. Haven’t seen him since I got the new car, yet I haven’t sat in my old spot nearly as much. He’ll spot my feet propped on the mirror one day. 

1_10_2016