Floundering is part of the process. The process of finding the problem to apply a solution to, and then to understand a possible fix for the problem which was uncovered. So, therefore with that attitude I can safely do whatever I feel is important in the moment, even if that is to talk with a stranger whom I may never speak to again. I did exchange information with several acquaintances or new friends possibly. I went to the Wednesday event. The normal event for entrepreneurs. One Million Cups. The event is one of my favorites because I get to see some of the possibilities and get to see the problems that others face. Also, to gain new connections — you never know where that may lead, especially with my mindset as one to weave a web around me, and to incorporate as much as I can into the strategy.

Today, we drove down to Liberty street. Parked off of E. Broad street and walked down to the river. Three of us. One new to town; he plans to visit all 48 continental states within three months or so. Charming fellow, been successful for a bit already. Managing to run away for a bit and see the USA before . . . who knows?

I love that attitude right now, because I am nearly in the same mindset, except for I am committed for now, to this spot and location. Aiming to do as I please here, until I am ready to leave. And then to have the freedom to do as this guy is. The trip sounds fantastic as of now. I have always feared to travel due to the need to speak to strangers at every corner, but now I embrace that. And that travel bug may catch hold if I think on it too long. Once I gain a financial foothold, I may very well do the same. Exchange of information — gaining a YouTube subscriber. I expect I will speak to him again.

Then to the park for a few moments, to walk and see what was with the orchestra setup at Forsyth park. Which turned out to be eighth graders from a fancy Savannah school and they had cheese, wine, and music and choir. I will not say that it was worthy of public display. I imagine the show was for the presence of the school, more than for the welfare of the children. If anything, it was to prepare them for life on the stage, in the limelight. I got out and did headstands behind them while they played a bit. Hung out with the local gemstone-necklace crafter. Met some random fellow and practiced the “dwadle” on him — as always, the trick works like a charm… instantly gained a bit of relief.

I did get to note that as I do that technique, I need to change my lead-in and my mindset a bit. Because I expect that the pain will go down in the ratio, approximately, that it ends up going down. As in I fear that my expectations are not high enough, even if theirs is. I need to aim higher as I did when I originally began this. But I only realized this today.

There was also a bit of conversation with a friend who was going through their own issues that I have no reason to speak of, but I will say that this does not narrow anything down, because this is going on with damn-near everyone I meet. This person was able to clear their mind as we walked back in memory to the initial cause of the problems. Then talked about what could have been done differently. Knowing now, going forward, that there is a key moment to anticipate… your problems always repeat until realize that the problem exists, and then will keep coming back until you finally defeat the problem in the proper manner — the way in which you, yourself, know that the problem needs to be handled. Only then can you finally get over the obstacle and move beyond the repetitive cycle of similar problem.

So, that was fun. Lots of dots connected today. I was talked into the idea of focusing my area towards a workable target, as vague as that means. I know that I want to impress someone tomorrow. At least a little bit. I know that I can impress, but I have the small fear that what I want to offer is not completely compatible due to total lack of financial stability, but if that lack of financial stability and the required drive to solve even that initial problem is what is actually desired, then I am super excited. I am a little anxious for the first time in weeks. Not enough to matter, only slightly.

I know that I need to order my overall thoughts, strategies, and focus my intensity into a workable presentation.

But my plans are so bloody widespread at the moment, that it is really too much to even suggest, possibly. Except for I have generally spoken about it already. It really isn’t that much to do, I suppose, I have been needing to do this. I have been working on this all week. Day in and day out. But instead of focus, it becomes broad. I’m writing a book, for Pete’s sake, and not just one, but two at minimum. It is ridiculous. I have already added separation of genre and I have even yet to accomplish anything to show worth showing, except for the total lack of fear to pursue this task with total obsession. 24/7 dedication is what I do. Except for I managed to clear my mind for 1.5 hours give or take on one night this week because I got sucked into a really weird movie. And I actually [had to] forced myself into a timeframe of uselessness… I forced myself to break. I had to try it again, it has been months since I have truly stopped for a moment to take a break in a zombie-like state, as the way one gets in front of television or facebook or video games. Any other times, I have been breaking to meditate, or to ponder, or to watch, or to listen, talk, strategize, etc. I have trained, studied, etc at a nonstop pace since September of 2018. The topics change, the actions have transitioned, the goals have morphed, everything is in flux. Yet, I have gone nonstop whether I appear that way or not. I have been in hyperdrive, though I appear still. My mind races, or I forcefully slow it down, or I allow it to be empty — but that is a task in of itself and that is also training as lame as it sounds — that is also study, because in that mode there is nothing to do except for to take information in, or to take it for granted.

10:54 pm, Wednesday, 4.18.2018