Yesterday was the new moon. But I thought today was supposed to be the day of it. It must have been late, the app shows at 0.5% now. Either way, the new moon should be used as a day to reflect and plan towards for the upcoming full moon and to write your goals for the future. Yesterday, I came across some scripture that was actually pretty amazing for me at this moment in my time. It has answered a bit of doubted puzzles regarding that of scripture and connection to essoteric meaning. and to explain where i am at along the path which i have choosen.
all sounding crazy as the lunatic who watches the moon, but i use the tools around me as i may and hope for the best as i have seen the changes as they happen and it amazes me still. i spent a chunk of yesterday, holed away, at a friend’s back porch, studying texts and crying over the realizations — the things i have come to find out, have already been written by David, in Psalms 119. The longest book in the bible as told by that friend. It explains much. And with that, in the 22nd section is where i lost my chill and tears flowed from reading. But it wasn’t for ill, it was only relief and confirmation of the times which i walk down and the things that i’ve gone through. it is awesome enough to get confirmation in real-time of the real world, but to find the scripture that explains, is even better, as someone else has made the obersvations, but has also elegantly worded them into a description about another time and place, and managed to record them for the ages forward, so that people like me and going through this madness can use as a reference that continues to reassure that we are in the correct and not mislead as the ones around us think so much that we are.
feels great to be open to speaking, publicly, personally, and to new strangers about these things, i have no fear of punishment as i would have in the past. whether from punishment of law… that has never truly been my concern, but fear to lose the respect of the ones around me, and with ironic pleasure, i have come to find much ease while slipping into my current role. i have come to greatly enjoy the confidence that has emerged and the carefree attitude about the way my peers may look at me, and mainly that they have mostly held me in great respect and i enjoy that much. i had feared for years that i’d be outcast for speaking my mind. and maybe i would have then, before i began to figure these things out… before i gave up on my old life and began anew.
now today, i must get going quickly. i was awoken to bad news. or unsettling news. what news is bad to me? i have already spun the news, instantly in my head, i can see a great possibility if the news turns real, but along the same way, that is only my vision and it does not hold exactly the views of the one whose news is regarding and they do not have the same perspective as i have of abundance, but they do, but it is of fear in this moment… great fear and i have no clue as how to end their misery, i have only held on and done what i have been able to, opened myself up to help them, and for now, i will go see today, see if i can aid the situation, it is my situation, soon if i do not solve it. or transform the bad news into good, as is the way that i imediately imagined upon hearing the bad news. the news is to be expected, i knew it may come eventually, but now, and right now, is one of the worst times to occur as i know the situation daily becomes more dire and fearful and somehow we have got to snap these people out of their rut and begin the incline. but i know it is a really hard sell and i must go now and try to solve this problem, go put out a fire, or spread it further. just go watch it burn away if i have to.
A controlled fire is preferable to a wild fire.
10:26 am, Monday, 4.16.2018