So bloody irritated 

I cannot say much due to the personal nature, but I’m insanely irritated now. Blood been boiling for an hour. 

Being broke sucks bad enough, but then when an employer screws you on pay, the bank charges overdraft fees, others don’t pay as expected, and all at a time when you actually need cash to invest, it makes you want to f’ing scream. 

It’s easy to see how homelessness occurs. Without the good ole parents, I would be in a storm drain somewhere about now, hiding from the rain. I barely have a vehicle. My credit is at the minimum. I want to change banks, but doubt I could find another who would take me. I have a house that I cannot repair. A resume that feels impotent. 

I’m so sick of the structure of this silly economy. All the talk of politics with no good results — ever. No matter who says it is coming, it never does. All of the political society are huge liers and nobody seems to care. Folks still believe there are two sides and not the single party that truly exists. Don’t they know we are in the New World Order already? How do you not see?

Trillions go to wars while famines kill off cities of poor people. I lay here in my van, richer than most of the world and feel miserable in comparison to my companions. Though my wealth of owning shelter is much more than the majority.

I meet homeless folks now, occasionally. I ask them what could be done to help them, but they are clueless as me. Without a structural change to this society, a change from bottom-up, a change in attitude by society itself, there is little hope. 

We all attempt to survive our own little worlds. Figuring that each person causes their own demise. We each pass the next because our own situations are dire and we fear that our fellow citizens will screw us over. Yet, by not helping each other, we pass the buck to the government which really doesn’t care. We are all just screwing over each other in process. Passing blame to another and expecting them to be fine — they deserve it afterall. 

Tired of all this shit. 

Tired of the redlights that haven’t been upgraded to sensor lights, forcing to sit in idle for nothing. For no cars to come, only to be given a citation if caught doing the smart thing, by running it. It’s all so silly. 

So pointless. Why must we have police who drive like idiots, who expect perfection from us? Who harass drivers and ignore the plight around them. Why, also, are they allowed to be fat? Aren’t they here to chase criminals if needed? Why do we allow corruption within their ranks?

So sick of all this crap. 

Why are priests still celebate? Haven’t they figured out by now that that breeds perversion? Why do people still participate while watching the spectacle? How have you not realized the greed involved within that establishment?

WTF is this about?

Why do you still attend services of a church who hoards gold while starvation kills half of Africa? How do you give one penny to such a monster who hoards his pile of gold?

What is wrong with you cowards???

6:02pm, 2.9.2018, Friday 

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