As a child, a person is normally more fit than they will ever be. With flexibility ruling their joints, a bounce to the bones, and ignorant faith of ability, a child will attempt anything thought possible. 

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Normally if hurt and with proper guidance and support, the child can heal rapidly from any injuries and rarely become broken for acute injury. No time has built issues from poor diet or mismanagement of physical ability. Play and curiosity is their whole world and lends towards freedom from stresses. They haven’t the buildup of toxic gunk in the body from misuse. They are practically in perfect health and love to spin in circles, cartwheels, and chase. 

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All of these things are typically lost from adults and rarely do those search for a way back. My goal, or at least one of my physical goals is to re-achieve that ability. The ability to do cartwheels and spin like a ballerina. To sprint across the yard for fun in chase games. To bring my body back to that bouncy strength and keep pace with the children around me. 

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Today, that goal is in sight as I feel a surge of power and know how it came. I know what to do. I can see the path to get there and unlike the driving force that is required to earn a degree, persue a career, or become wealthy, the only drive I need is the motivation to have fun!

…all the tips and tricks have not been learnt, though the essential elements have surfaced. With further experimentation, success will be reached. The success of youth restored. Of disease an illness as a memory or a case of sorrow for those around me that care not of the advice. 

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I cannot expect friends or family to listen. You are the last to ever listen because you have always known me and believe your own version of my truth, because you think I’m nuts and blessed with great genes (or cursed by mental illness). Even Jesus didn’t work many miracles in his home town — they couldn’t imagine what he was. If even a character as such is not revered at home, then I have no chance of promoting equal wellness of my home. Only of I. 

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Not to get into a mood of sorrow — only to show the point. My message is taken by acquaintances with quickness while my friends shake their heads in silent laughter. To that point — I shake my head in return, silently praying they come to terms with this world’s knowledge. I have FREED MYSELF from the burden of care. Not that “I don’t care, cause I do”, but the burden to change those around me is not within my psyche (anymore). I have released it recently and I will stop pushing for those changes when I explain. You very likely will never admit that I am correct while remaining ignorant of Truth. 

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I AM EXCITED THAT I CAN DO A HEADSTAND. That I can roll and flip over grass. Walk barefooted across roots and asphalt. Balance on one leg. Spin without puking. Cross my eyes and laugh. Perform backbends and crabwalk (not quite yet). I AM EXCITED TO BE EXCITED.

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I’m thankful for each day and the problems to surface even when the problems aren’t wanted. I do want problems to solve and aim for those problems to not be my own. I want my problems to surface so that I may quickly extinguish them and so I can go solve others’ problems and have that fun. 

I’m thankful of my abilities and the drive to gain more. My talents waste away when out of use, though the connections created will remain for a lifetime while others build. Wisdom is a goal, to the effect of which I feel dumbfounded to realize my ultimate course of mastership, if any. 

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Just a lone wanderer with ability to jump into any situation to assist in scrambling the pieces until a pattern emerges and the work begins anew. With new direction, the solution emerges and while they turn to ask for help in the building, I am free to find another problem to puzzle and ponder. 

…how did i change topics?? It always happens!!!!!!!!

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morning bath time (errr post noon bath)

Sunday, 12:26pm, 12.10.17