I am supposed to be quitting tobacco this weekend. I am not excited about this. I am very anxious over the proposal, but I need to do this. 

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I have the valium ready. This is a long weekend. But I want to do my normal activities and I know that isn’t possible while either quitting or while on downers. 

…So it is all or nothing. Quitting is a major step towards financial stability. Not even going into health benefits and the costs associated with continuation, the habit costs a crazy amount that is embarrassing to say. ~250 month wasting on that stuff is silly, but true. Along with the recent reduction of the cell bill by 40 and 70 by loss of Comcast, I will once again be back into the black with my monthly budget, instead of the estimated (avg) 200 month into the red. 

…it really is the game changer that I have been waiting to play. 

…i just really don’t look forward to playing this card. 

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Breakdown of what this could mean: I could do any of these things with that 350 per month:

• Wing Chun for 100/mo + my cohen gym membership (20) + 230/mo toward old bills to catch up proper amounts 
• Golf club membership with a friend and get good at golf + 100/mo towards whatever 
• 350/mo towards remodeling the house 
• 350/mo towards catching up on bills and then beginning another emergency fund

I really want to do all these things, but I really doubt I’ll do the golf any time soon. And the non-fun stuff will certainly be mixed in there. And I really want to try the wing chun for a couple months to see if I can enjoy group training. I have always avoided group training, but martial arts have been calling my name pretty loudly for a few years and I need to quit ignoring the call. 

……….woooooooo it is late!!

**may be near 210 or so, but I bet it really is near 250…I don’t track my finances. 

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5/24/2017 Wednesday (Tuesday night) 1:38am