Starting to look forward to the idea of being a salesman. The idea used to intimidate me, but it can be enjoyable if the circumstances are proper. 

…

Back in my assembly days, many customers would bother me to find nonsense around the store. I’d shoo them away with the line “I don’t work here” and go back to business. But oftentimes, the customer would ask for information about a gas grill. When this would happen, I could give great insight into the construction and constitution of each grill, explaining which one is constructed best. I would rate them in order of price to value by construction, which as you can imagine put the higher-end  grills mostly on top, as you do pay for quality. 

…I could ramble for a steady hour, purely on the massive difference in quality between Home Depot and Wal-Mart. 

…

Then I could expose the complexity of the assembly process. I would start off by saying, “it only takes 16 minutes to assemble that grill”. Then I’d look at him/her and ask how quickly they thought that they could build it. 

…Following up whatever answer they gave (if any) and say “not even close”. And I’d likely chuckle a bit. I’d point at another guy with me, “what about him? . . . 45 minutes, and it’s his sixth one this week”. “Do you even have a cordless drill? This is a nightmare with a screwdriver. I guess it comes down to, would you rather spend 4 hours reading jibberish and trying to understand the worst drawn assembly instructions on the planet or give H.D. fifteen bucks to assemble it for you?”

…

Some ladies would retort, “that’s what he’s for!” Awesome. But usually it didn’t matter either way because I was typically slammed with work. A sell changed little to nothing for me in the moment since I made no sells commission. 

…

The fact that I was not pressured to create a sell helped me relax and have fun with the interaction. I trash talked the different grills over their poor qualities openly with the customer. I spoke about others’ problems with specific issues and warned of conflicting interests. It was fun to enlighten them while typically pushing them to go for quality – as much as they could afford in their budget. 

I sold a fair many grill and helped many men become more manly by convincing them to buy huge smokers instead of a sissy, frail, little gas grill. 

…

Though next time, it’s for larger chunks. And the sell will matter. Though I do plan on selling the “assembly ” also in one form or format. 

…this thought was spiked due to the sells pitch to the guy that came to see my bike. 

Do you think he imagined that I had just placed 3 strategically-placed guns, just in case he was a nut job? Nothing wierd, he came to my house, so I prepared. Backed my car into the drive so the trunk faced the house. Opened the trunk and put the shotgun there – closing the trunk partially. Then, the rifle is lying on its side on the rug by the front door. Plus the pistol in the front seat of the car. 

…Am I paranoid?

…Always. 

…

But anyhow, the selling was fun. Told all I know about the bike, good and bad (not much because it is quality). He was pleasant. No one was murdered. 

Says he is gonna checkout a couple other bikes. So we shall wait and see if my salesmanship panned out. 

…

3_22_2027 Wednesday, 8:04pm