tobacco free fifteen hours 

A week ago I went twelve hours once, but was scared to go further. 

Yesterday I fell asleep around 4:30 and awoke a couple times for an hour at best. I slept and woke without alarm, as I prefer on weekends, at around six o’clock. Then laid around and sketched some ideas and watched Netflix. 

That’s all I’ve done since I got home yesterday afternoon, but I’ve been watching bad movies and they’re pretty uninterestingless distraction

That’s 15 hours nicotine free with around 80% of the time asleep. I ultimately had an odd sensation this morning. Feels like a ping-pong ball sized little aura sitting in the forward, top of the left side of my forehead. The sensation was not yet bad exactly. There was an association from past experiences of impending pain or anguish, anxiety, frustration, and fear. All of this bottled up in the little aura. I feel it in my gut – just thinking about it. 

I know what it feels like to quit, but it gets easier each time — Mostly. I have quit a dozen times. Last couple times for a year +. I almost went for it today. But it’s a three day process. And it would just make today bad. I need some rest now. 

If i hold out till two weeks and maybe even try to ween a bit, Christmas vacation is December 23 to January 2 (or so). That’s plenty of time. I could get a good bowel cleanse and ween off for a week before going down with the DTs. 

12_11_2016

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